Today’s conversation was supposed to be about something completely different. But when I saw the case currently in front of the Supreme Court regarding transgender girls in sports, I couldn’t stay silent.

I am not a lawyer, a doctor, or a scientist. But I am two things that matter deeply in this conversation: I am a former competitive athlete, and I am the mother of a trans daughter.

The Athlete’s View: We Were Never “Equal” I spent the first 18 years of my life in sports. I started swimming at age four, played basketball, cheered, played softball as a pitcher, and eventually picked up field hockey in high school.+4

When people argue that allowing trans women to compete is “unfair” due to biological advantages, I have to ask: What fairness are we protecting?.

In my athletic career, I faced opponents who were taller than me, stronger than me, and faster than me. I didn’t make the basketball team after freshman year because other girls were a foot taller or significantly faster. We accept that a six-foot-three swimmer has a natural advantage over a five-foot-two swimmer. We don’t ban the tall swimmer for having a biological leg up. We call it sports.

The idea that we must police women’s sports to ensure everyone has the exact same biological capacity is a new standard we have never applied before.

The Reality of Transition There is a massive misunderstanding about what transitioning looks like for a child. People seem to believe boys are simply putting on a jersey to dominate a game. That is not reality.

When a child transitions pre-puberty, they do not go through male puberty. With the help of doctors and counselors, they may use puberty blockers and eventually gender-affirming hormones. This process changes their biology. It changes muscle mass. It changes hormone levels. A trans girl who has transitioned is not a “boy” on the field. She is a girl with a female hormonal profile.

Debunking the Fear The most offensive argument I hear is the idea that a boy would calculate, “I’m going to transition to a girl so I can be the best on the soccer team”. As a mental health professional, I can tell you that this is simply not how it works.+1

Furthermore, the narrative that women are so weak we need protection from trans girls is insulting. Women need protection from pedophiles, abusive coaches, and systems that take advantage of us. We do not need protection from a teammate who just wants to play.

The Wonder of Authenticity Beyond the politics and the biology, there is the human side. My daughter has a beautiful spirit, and I have watched that spirit blossom since she began living as her true self. She is happy, joyful, and resilient.

That is the real point here. These are children trying to live their lives. They are not dangerous. They are not cheaters. They are kids who want to play.

If you are looking for a community that embraces these difficult but necessary conversations, I invite you to join us in the Women of Wonder community. We support one another through the messiness of life, seeking the wonder in all of it.

Join the Women of Wonder community: A safe space for connection without the algorithms. Welcome to “Wonder in the Weeds” with trauma therapist Cristie Ritz-King.

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